28 Jul 2006

Chupa rustum

Well, well, well. I switch on NDTV 24x7 today at 5:30 pm and i see a new program called chupa rustum happening. Expecting to see something like the political satire (called the great indian tamasha or double take) that they run i watch it.

What do i see? i see a remake of MTV bakra in action. This guy goes out with a scooter that doesnt have a stand or petrol. He asks a passerby to hold it (as it doesnt have a stand) while he goes to pick up some petrol. The quick five minutes turns into more than an hour and there is still no sign of the guy. When the guy decides he has had enough and wants to leave he comes around trying to get him to HELP him out for some more time. Only when the guy is fed up does he admit that he is on candid camera.

Well, for myself, i would rather suffer the fires of hell for the rest of my life for not helping a person in need, rather than be made a laughing stock on national telivision. Not to mention the waste of my valuable time.

24 hour news channels were a bad idea from the start. But when reporters star acting like Cyrus Broacha one wonders where we are headed towards.

13 Jul 2006

BOMB - BAY

I was reading a friends blog and he asked what can we do about terrorist attacks.

It is actually kind of funny. Because every time I hear about some attack like this, I hear about security being beefed up and all that. why couldn’t that be done earlier? does it take a disaster to show us what a farce our “security” system is? And if security is beefed up how does it help after the attack has been committed? are they going to attack the same place again?

What is the point in putting security at Bombay airport on red alert? shouldn’t they always be on high alert? If terrorists were going to attack they are going to give us 8 warning blasts and then launch an attack on the airport?

Is it just a sham to make us feel that "the government is doing everything in its power to ensure that the innocent people are safe?"

One common excuse mentioned is that security guards are human. they get bored by the routine nature of work. Then why don’t you do something about it? keep mock drills or something to keep them on their toes. Give incentives for being found alert and punish for being slack. The traditional carrot and stick approach.

This is what the security forces SHOULD be doing in the first place. It is their duty. And if they are slacking it is because we are slack in pulling them up when they don’t do their duty. After a major attack there is the usual transfer of officials, to Timbuktu and other God forsaken places. Is that enough? I feel it is a eye wash. Nobody is asking for how long is the transfer. One week later the person maybe back in another plush job and the public is none the wiser.

We shrink from doing what we should. Come elections and even though a holiday is declared at most workplaces, the turnout at election booths is poor. Elections seem to be won by the lack of ballots ‘against’ rather than that ‘for’ the candidate.

What can we do you ask? I say we have everything to do with it. We are the ones who complain that the system is flawed but are too lazy or scared to do anything about it. We are the ones who think that terrorism is the governments problem and not ours. When the terrorists attacked the world trade centre what did we do? when they attacked the London subway what did we do? Now that it has come to Bombay what are we doing? We are the ones who are not bothered about it, till it affects us. It is this careless attitude of ours that has cost us lives. Their blood is on all our hands, but we prefer to live in blissful ignorance till it takes something dear to us.

Are we ready to wake up?

11 Jul 2006

An expected Nuclear attack!!!!???

Though i wish i this post were mine, i actually got it from a friend of mine.

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter missiles would be on their way.This was their scenario.................

But if there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan.

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.



They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology is highly advanced.

In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

But they need permission from the Government of India.

They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.

The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision.

In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.

The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.

As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile.

But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.

A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.

The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.

Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.


In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.

The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.

This time all the parties agree.

Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision.

Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised.

In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians like Kalingaa and all of you, condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.

Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service.

Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination: Russia .

Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.

The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.

Pakistan never gets it right.

And

we live happily ever after!!!!

10 Jul 2006

Zidane controversy

Ok. If u weren’t watching the match live like I just did, u will probably see it some time soon. I predict that this is going to be played over and over and over again on international telivision.

Zidane, who has long since announced that he wont play football after the world cup, just executed a amazing stroke. He is going to have people talking about this for weeks to come. It will get him more publicity than what he has had over his whole career. And if he refuses to come clean about it soon after the match, his autobiography will be a bestseller.

Looks like I’m doing just what he expects everyone to do. Howl over it and gain him even more publicity.

9 Jul 2006

electricity

I switched on the news to day to find people in Delhi breaking into a power distribution station and setting cables on fire to protest against the power cuts that have been occurring in India’s capital. People are complaining that what kind of capital is it, if power cuts like these happen.

I couldn’t help but wonder, have we become dependent on electricity so much that we cant live without it? I know that when I don’t have power at home and I’m without my computer, I become extremely fidgety. I feel uncomfortable not having a computer that’s playing music. So I switch on my mobile phone that can store and playback mp3’s. Why, just the other day, at 12:50 AM power in our apartments went. When the generator did not come on for 15 minutes, I walked down 10 floors (as the lifts don’t work without power) to find the watchman sleeping. Boy, did he get a piece of my mind.

Electricity has so become a part of our lives that we have almost taken it for granted. Can you imagine life without electricity? Imagine that for a day, there is no power anywhere in the world. Our cell phone batteries and laptop batteries would die and we wouldn’t be able to recharge them. That would mean that all the contacts that we have stored wouldn’t be accessible. No computers to work on and get the data either. No share markets to trade on. No lights to do any work after sunset. No television!!!! No telephone lines working. No mixers, grinders, microwaves to help with the cooking. No lifts to carry us up the multistory buildings we have built.

Hold on. We have generators and inverters. Yes???

What happens if they are also destroyed? How long do u think we will survive if all over the world we don’t have sewage treatment plants, water purifiers, hospital services that depend on electricity?

Do u think I’m being paranoid? That such a thing cannot possibly happen? Well, think again after reading this article and this one

Makes you want to think about what things in life are really valuable.

edit: another interesting link

4 Jul 2006

knee jerk reaction?

Some time back an uncle of mine was in a bad accident. It resulted in him being paralyzed from the neck down. In the following weeks, as news slowly spread among family and friends, we got a number of calls from well wishers. While a few offered to help in their own small way, most were at a loss for words and just said that they would pray for him. As a way of offering support, people who seldom talk about God and were in the least bit religious were promising to offer prayers on his behalf to God.

It made me ponder over what my science teacher, in primary school, once told us. He said that what man couldn’t explain, he attributed to God. Our ancestors are believed to have worshipped fire, rain, solar eclipses, volcano eruptions, lightening etc to various Gods and their activities because they were at a loss to explain them scientifically.

Does this hold true even today? Do we remember God only in times of need or difficulty? Or is God the name for the unknown? For a power that we are yet to understand completely? Or is God an excuse when we feel inadequate in dealing with certain situations?

Thoughts like these keep recurring in my mind. So I would like your opinion. Also, if such a calamity were to befall someone you know, how would you go about consoling them or helping them out?